I had a mail today of someone trying to give at least some explanation to console me. But the thing is.....I know. I know it all. I wish I didn't. There is one thing I don't know, I don't know how to turn the tide and if I can not do that I don't know how I will survive. What will be left of us after the flood??? So I heard this today on the car radio. If you would like to hear at least the part in the middle where he sings...."I know" you will know exactly how I feel today. That sharp voice so beautifully eerie. And it made me think more or less what follows below. My thoughts are not so nicely styled, that is added. But it is true when the mail came I thought "I know" and then the song came along. See what I mean? I live on music.

I know

you look at me
with calculating looks
about fault ,
the past;
my friend.

you look at me
with calculating looks
about more ,
the world ,
and how to rule it ;
my daughter .

but you all
just be quiet
and let me be
cuz I know

I was here
to see it grow
every day
by the hour
by the minute
unable to move
while your doors
were all closed.

there are some things ,
my dear,
I can not give ,
they aren't mine
but ......
I know
I know
I KNOW !
my knowledge
is silent
but would like
to scream on the wind
howling in the
nuclear fallout
of some final explosion .

then ...
maybe ...
in the harsh light,
you could see,
my child ;
all the knives
your superior knowledge
stuck into me

But I know ,
I know,
I know !
there is no mercy
for a fool like me ,
when foolish
is what you want me
to be .

27-12